Posted by on May 20, 2020

My wife Evelyn and I will be married 51 years come June 8th.  In all that time, we have come to know each other fairly well.  And yet, there are still times when I have to wonder what in the heck she’s thinking.

Case in point: a few weeks ago she came back from a trip to the grocery store with a package of — are you ready for this — a package of Oreo THINS!  And, yes, they were meant for ME, God bless ‘er!

Why should that be such a big deal? you ask.  I’ll tell you why.  I’m the kind of guy who’s not so much attracted to the cookie of an Oreo as I am to the filling in those cookies.  I don’t take the cookies apart to lick the icing first and then eat the cookie parts, like some kind of toddler.  No, no.  I have a method:

      1 — Take six cookies from the box and place them on a small plate.  Pour a glass of milk (almond milk works just as well as dairy milk).  Bring a table knife and napkin along and sit in the recliner, placing everything on a TV tray.

      2 — Take the first cookie apart.  Eat the half without the icing and gulp some milk.

      3 — Take a second cookie apart.  Using the knife, scrape the icing from the cookie and place it on the icing of the first cookie-half.  Eat both bare cookies and down them with a swig of milk.

      4 — Repeat Step 3 for the remaining cookies until there’s a stack of five fillings on the first cookie half.  

      5 — Separate the last cookie.  Eat the bare half with a swig of milk and place the half with the icing on top of the stack of fillings so that you end up with an Oreo with two inches of icing in it.  Wrap your mouth around that puppy and enjoy with the last of the milk.

Now THAT’S “Oreo Enjoyment.”

So, why, in the name of all that’s sensible, would my lovely, understanding wife think I would do handsprings over a cookie with even LESS icing in it than the usual?  I’m the kind of guy who would bring home a package of Oreo Double-Stuf’s and use only three or four fillings instead of six.  If I tried my method with Oreo Thins, I’d be so tuckered out from scraping off a dozen fillings that I’d have no energy left to EAT the final creation!

Oh, well.  If that’s the biggest thing I have to worry about in life, I’m pretty darned fortunate, for sure.

But it’s still fun to muse about.  <Smile>


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